Monday, November 22, 2004
oh empire, oh wonderful empire
tally ho chaps..
what a terrible day it was, back in 1997, when the empire was finally at an end. amiable education expert Prince Charles and that dreadful euro chappie, Chris Patten, sailed out of the Hong Kong Bay aboard HMS Britannia and that was that. dreadful..
but not for a moment more. oh no. this saturday we stormed the barricades once more. sailed ashore with our union jacks and tried to hoist them again. empire lives on once more. cripes. noone even spotted us. never understood why the great Mrs T agreed to give it back in the first place.
yes, after cavorting round those dreadful oriental places we finally arrived at a slice of home. marks and spencers and all. super, and not a moment to soon. not, however, till we'd spent a delightful few days in Macau. apparently part of Portugal once - who'd have believed it? very clever of those Portugese chappies to get that far from home. of course, not a patch on what the grand old British created across the water, but still a jolly fine effort.
spent a very agreeable day watching the Grand Prix. just a wee small affair, Formula 3 and some touring bikes. jolly fine english chap doing the commentary as well. gambled as well, though couldn't work out what all those Chinese games were. mighty confusing indeed. could have almost been back home at our summer villa on the Algarve.
and so a quick ferry ride over the water and we were back to claim for the Queen what, of course, should still be hers. strode straight through passport control - 'i'm British, let me through'. jolly pleased to see they all still drive on the right. and all the payphones are just like the UK. and none of them work as well. even Prince William all over the tv telling us how you should just live life as you want to. jolly well said indeed young chap.
spent a day at the races. not Ascot of course - but still, escorted straight through to the members enclosure. no riff raff around for us. jolly fine form. even won on a few races. just enough to compensate for the missus and all her wasted bets. one of the locals even thought i was michael owen. fancy that, they try so hard.
good to see that Patten chap left them with some things though. still got the doubledecker buses everywhere. no sign of his rather lovely daughters anywhere - he must have packed them off home on the Britannia. and of course Marks and Spencers. the missus bought herself a nice new bra and i told the shop assistant, 'we have these in England you know'. bras and M&S.
not sure about the food though. all this sim dum stuff. couldn't get ourselves a sunday roast anywhere. still, when in rome, do as the romans and all that.
took the Peak tram to the top. built by us British of course. jolly clever chaps even back them. good to see the locals still working it now we've gone. mighty steep hills though.
cheerio.
what a terrible day it was, back in 1997, when the empire was finally at an end. amiable education expert Prince Charles and that dreadful euro chappie, Chris Patten, sailed out of the Hong Kong Bay aboard HMS Britannia and that was that. dreadful..
but not for a moment more. oh no. this saturday we stormed the barricades once more. sailed ashore with our union jacks and tried to hoist them again. empire lives on once more. cripes. noone even spotted us. never understood why the great Mrs T agreed to give it back in the first place.
yes, after cavorting round those dreadful oriental places we finally arrived at a slice of home. marks and spencers and all. super, and not a moment to soon. not, however, till we'd spent a delightful few days in Macau. apparently part of Portugal once - who'd have believed it? very clever of those Portugese chappies to get that far from home. of course, not a patch on what the grand old British created across the water, but still a jolly fine effort.
spent a very agreeable day watching the Grand Prix. just a wee small affair, Formula 3 and some touring bikes. jolly fine english chap doing the commentary as well. gambled as well, though couldn't work out what all those Chinese games were. mighty confusing indeed. could have almost been back home at our summer villa on the Algarve.
and so a quick ferry ride over the water and we were back to claim for the Queen what, of course, should still be hers. strode straight through passport control - 'i'm British, let me through'. jolly pleased to see they all still drive on the right. and all the payphones are just like the UK. and none of them work as well. even Prince William all over the tv telling us how you should just live life as you want to. jolly well said indeed young chap.
spent a day at the races. not Ascot of course - but still, escorted straight through to the members enclosure. no riff raff around for us. jolly fine form. even won on a few races. just enough to compensate for the missus and all her wasted bets. one of the locals even thought i was michael owen. fancy that, they try so hard.
good to see that Patten chap left them with some things though. still got the doubledecker buses everywhere. no sign of his rather lovely daughters anywhere - he must have packed them off home on the Britannia. and of course Marks and Spencers. the missus bought herself a nice new bra and i told the shop assistant, 'we have these in England you know'. bras and M&S.
not sure about the food though. all this sim dum stuff. couldn't get ourselves a sunday roast anywhere. still, when in rome, do as the romans and all that.
took the Peak tram to the top. built by us British of course. jolly clever chaps even back them. good to see the locals still working it now we've gone. mighty steep hills though.
cheerio.
// posted by courtney and pete @ 13:07 
Comments:
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So,
one observation on reading this post is that Wylie has lost his skills with the use of the English language. I actually thought Courtney had written this drivel, with the classic "western Empire" use of "jolly" and "chap" to pretend they are taking the piss out of real English gentry. Pete, what has happened to you?
Also, an attempted parody on Posh English without one mention of Paul Farqhuar Barkar and his lovely wife, and nothing on fox-hunting being banned.
Oh - did you know Smoking is going to be banned over here by the time you get back? That's another thing your nanny state Labour leaders have decided is good for us..
I also notice that the yellow t-shirt is still running strong. I hope you get stung to bits by bees somewhere soon. That'll teach you. Apparently I was supposed to send you some home addresses of some of your lovely friends in England to send Xmas cards to. Is it too late? send me an email if it isn't and I'll send you some more.
By the time you get back (May isn't it?) Mr Barker will have given birth to a child. Can you believe that? Oh, and it would appear your presence will probably be required on another posh stag do. Johnny & Hels were overheard at JB's B'day party "discussing" (some would say arguing) over whether they were getting married in July or August. Hope you can make it!!
Sorry - I should keep this rambling to emails, and not comments to all & sundry. Especially those slightly eccentric Canadians who post to your site every now and then!
Toodlepip....
one observation on reading this post is that Wylie has lost his skills with the use of the English language. I actually thought Courtney had written this drivel, with the classic "western Empire" use of "jolly" and "chap" to pretend they are taking the piss out of real English gentry. Pete, what has happened to you?
Also, an attempted parody on Posh English without one mention of Paul Farqhuar Barkar and his lovely wife, and nothing on fox-hunting being banned.
Oh - did you know Smoking is going to be banned over here by the time you get back? That's another thing your nanny state Labour leaders have decided is good for us..
I also notice that the yellow t-shirt is still running strong. I hope you get stung to bits by bees somewhere soon. That'll teach you. Apparently I was supposed to send you some home addresses of some of your lovely friends in England to send Xmas cards to. Is it too late? send me an email if it isn't and I'll send you some more.
By the time you get back (May isn't it?) Mr Barker will have given birth to a child. Can you believe that? Oh, and it would appear your presence will probably be required on another posh stag do. Johnny & Hels were overheard at JB's B'day party "discussing" (some would say arguing) over whether they were getting married in July or August. Hope you can make it!!
Sorry - I should keep this rambling to emails, and not comments to all & sundry. Especially those slightly eccentric Canadians who post to your site every now and then!
Toodlepip....
Richard - I am seriously offended that you thought I might be capable of writing drivel. You can forget dinner party invitations to our house when we get back!
# posted by 
: 11:47 am
: 11:47 am
You guys HAVE a house?!!!! ever the jolly optimists, what?
(See, I can do it, too, Pete...even in Canada,eh?)
The mom
(See, I can do it, too, Pete...even in Canada,eh?)
The mom
# posted by : 1:13 am
: 1:13 am
"Slightly eccentric" are we???!!! Supertheo, I must have been asleep at the switch the first time I read your comment! I'm crushed!
Just to keep the record straight - there is nothing "slightly eccentric" about us! We are full blown, over-the-top, totally, completely and utterly eccentric!
That's what makes us so loveable.
Ms. Love's Aunt
Just to keep the record straight - there is nothing "slightly eccentric" about us! We are full blown, over-the-top, totally, completely and utterly eccentric!
That's what makes us so loveable.
Ms. Love's Aunt
# posted by : 12:13 pm
: 12:13 pm
Will you be launching over to I-raq (sic) to let us know how the current empire-building is progressing?
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